Tuesday, March 17, 2015
BEFORE I GOT PREGNANT - 6 IUIs, 2 IVFs and 2 beautiful lines (Prologue)
When I was a teenager, I really hated kids. My mother had worked as a kindergarten teacher, and usually, when I visited her at her workplace, I immediately got a headache because of the noise there and the toddling of toddlers. I realized, that something always needed wiping one end or the other – and I found it all disgusting!
I changed my mind, when I was 19 years old, and I saw an advertisement in the newspaper. A school was looking for an assistant. I got the job and my task was mainly to do photocopies for the teachers and sometimes, when nobody else could go, I was allowed to be a substitute teacher. The school-children loved me, because my class for them usually meant me telling stories or playing games together. I just fell in love with them.
Me and Ádám were a couple at this time, we had everything else but didn't have children on our minds. First of all, we wanted to grow up, to earn our degrees, to move to a flat with only the two of us…
Time went by, and one day I just realized, we already had all of these things.
Years seemed to fly by. I finished the teachers training college and began to work as a teacher. We had a flat and I thought to myself, we don’t have a reason for waiting longer.
And then, Ádám turned out to think in another way about child rearing and marriage. I told to myself, to give him a year, and I went to a course to learn sewing. Alright, maybe I would be never a dressmaker, but I would be able to sew nice clothes for myself and for my children. Later, I even had enough time to learn a little bit of fashion design. I began to realize, the life of designers is not as perfect as in a muesli advertisement. So I don’t regret, that I didn’t have the courage, to apply for admission to the art school after finishing the high school. I really tried to see the positive side of things. I still didn’t know, that I would still have plenty of time waiting for the stork, to do a course for film text translation and to learn English, and to work as a film translator and to start studying at a University and to write a novel…
I didn’t have a clue. I was just a snow-white lamb. I was undismayed at this time. Little did I know, a wife has only two ways: either she is an uncomplaining fairy or she is self-assertive, overbearing witch who stamps her husband`s will.
I just waited quietly, until Ádám decided, the time had come. It was not too late, after all. When I would give birth to our first child, I could have two others, even with a difference of 2 and a half years.